The Midnight News 5.22.01 

Posted By Hyatte on 05.22.01

Raw, Rooster, Net Spec, Mad rumors, Will someone sign already?, Cyrus, Road Dogg, Buy a date with a girl who will never sleep with you, and me. 

Ho! I jammed in a lot of stuff for today. Let’s dig.

RAW DEAL

WWF Monday Night Raw Is War was on last night, and major moves seemed to have been made to drag the company out of the pits and back into our hearts!

Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho beat "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Triple H to become the new tag team champions in a thrilling match bereft of any outside interference (save for a misused sledgehammer). Of course, this match did not go down without a bit of controversy, but I'll get to that later.

Rhyno's losing streak ended after the Big Show pinned him for the Hardcore strap. Kurt Angle and Shane McMahon got into it. Lots of stuff happened actually. Really a good show.

Many "experts" said that this night's show would pretty much define what the WWF will be about over the Summer. There are a lot of little "backstage" theories/rumors/news reports floating around the net about this very subject. I'll do my best to cover all of them or at least give a general overview in this column.

Ah, and PK has the Raw Recap all set. 

Actually, it seems a bit of a shame that I am bagging out of doing the recaps this week.... but I am... eat me.

KNEE DEEP IN MISERY!

In between columns dedicated to losers who spend their lives making Top 500 lists, Dave Meltzer reports that HHH hurt his knee pretty good after taking a tumble off the top rope towards the end of the main event last night. All his weight landed on his left leg.... and that's NEVER good. He limped his way through what was left of the match.

Word is that they are thinking the injury is a torn tendon. He's had an MRI done already and you'll get all the info just as soon as humanly possible. Well, maybe not that soon, but soon enough.

The good news for the ladies (and quite a few men) is that neither HHH's nose nor his penis was wounded during the match.

BEWARE THEIR POWER... INTERNET JOURNALISTS' LIGHT

So, earlier yesterday, Widro posted on the great 411 Newsboard a story he pulled from The Torch Newsletter.

In it, they report that Vince McMahon, possibly out of frustration over his sagging boo.... ratings is changing the storyline scripts at the last minute, and affecting the long term planning of WWF booking that they are famous for. Perhaps, Vince is losing faith in his creative team? Perhaps with the failure of the XFL, Vince feels insecure with his talent and is taking a firmer hand in storylines just to prove to himself that he still has it? Maybe Vince fears Heyman's skill that could translate to influence? Or maybe it's all just bullsh**?

In either case, this story gets more complicated. 

Ryder went online yesterday and said that the WWF were at the crossroads of where they would go with their upper card. The "Heyman" path took them to a June where Jericho and Benoit were brought up to top of the card for a pair of throwdowns with Austin and HHH, starting at the "King of the Ring" and continuing over the Summer, should the audience respond favorably.

The "Vince" Path kept things going the way they have been, with the Undertaker and Kane fighting the Heels until the Rock came back. One would assume that Vince is having a bit of a "confidence" problem and with all the pressure on him to deliver the goods, he might be sticking with the "what worked in the past" motto and be afraid to try new things.

It appears that they will try the "Heyman" route for now and give Benoit and Jericho a shot. 

The weird thing is, now Scherer is saying that he knew that Benoit and Jericho were going to be put over at the PPV but was afraid that if he reported it, Vince would screw them out of the match and maybe forget elevating them. He congratulated himself for not "breaking" the story and instead. allowing the "two Chrisses" to have their shot at the top.

Oh come ON!!! Is he for REAL?

I wonder, now that he bragged about NOT breaking the story, wouldn't that maybe tick off someone in the WWF and have them de-push the "two Chrisses" just out of spite?

Or maybe he's telling the truth.... but the other truth is that 1wrestling has taken a big hit after WCW folded and they are now obviously trying to re-establish their site as a "Hard News Independent Website". When Scherer makes questionable boasts like that, it comes off like he's screaming, "See!!, SEE!! We still get the breaking stories!!!" 

The RF Video also bragged about keeping the news to himself, for the sake of Benoit and Jericho. 

Hey, next time, REPORT IT!!! You don't sit on a toilet unless you plan on POOPING!!

Creeps.

I'd just like to say that I knew for WEEKS that Friends would show that Rachel was pregnant as their big cliffhanger, but I sat on the story until it happened. Because if I did break it, they might make Lisa Kudrow pregnant instead, and that would ruin everything.

One thing I WILL report is that my ex-partner Greg Dillard HAS been selected for Survivor 3, already went to Africa and played the game, and made it to the final four. He was voted off by the other three. Good Job Greg!

PUTTING THE 'RASS BACK IN 'RASSLIN'

1bob is also reporting that if the WWF can't find a suitable TNN home for WCW, WTBS might very well be willing to open up a slot. 

Yes, the day may come where we once again get in-studio wrestling every Saturday from 6:05 to 8:05 p.m..

Personally, I think those TBS boys are just dying for a show that will rag on Ted Turner every week, and not be fired for it.

BIG STAR SIGNING RUMOR OF THE DAY!

It seems that each day, something new sprouts up about who's joining the WWF and who's going to sit home and collect on their AOL contract. Here's what we have this time:

Last report, I reported that the great A1 site reported that Page, Booker and Flair are just INCHES away from signing.

Earlier yesterday Widro said on the Newsboard that the Torch Newsletter is reporting that Booker and Page are the ONLY two WCW stars that are willing to accept the buyout and sign.

Later yesterday, Scherer said that Rob Van Dam and Buff Bagwell are "strong candidates" for signing. Bagwell should be a free agent soon enough because his contract is about to end soon. Van Dam would be a great addition to WCW for the "newness" level and the fact that he really is a major talent.

Scherer also said that DDP and Booker are strong possibilities too, Page even initiated buy-out talks with AOL because he knows that time is not a friend of his at the moment.

So, if you meld all the stories into one, we see that Booker is a lock, DDP really wants to be a lock, Goldberg is telling the business to go F-itself, the WWF is encouraged, but not sure about Scott Hall, Kevin Nash will come back after he milks AOL for everything it owes him, Sting hates the business, and Flair is still undecided.

And Lex Luger will be appearing on the side of a milk carton at your local grocery store.

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING?

A reader e-mailed me and said that the WWF is advertising a "Major Event" at the ASU Convocation Center is Arkansas. He didn't give me the date, but he says that the ads promise a "Clash of Champions" event featuring stars of "ECW, WWF, and WCW". Some of the names mentioned are Tommy Dreamer, the Sandman, Jerry Lynn, Raven, Kurt Angle, Booker T, and Shawn Stasiak.

I'm sure the reader, while nice enough to send this out to me, was listening to the advertisement under a haze of some of that sweet, sweet Jamaican bud. Yeah mon.

A SUNNY DAY OF YOUR VERY OWN

Well, here's a trend that may define the year 2001.... now Tammy "Sunny" Sytch is offering up her time on Ebay. Here's the official pitch:

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the ultimate Tammy "Sunny" Sytch fan. The winning bidder will go to WWF New York where they will hang out and have dinner with the one and only TAMMY "SUNNY" SYTCH for a couple hours!!! In addition, the winner of the auction will receive an "Ultimate Fan" Package which will contain items no true "Sunny" fan should be without! If you are a wrestling fan and especially a Tammy "Sunny" Sytch fan, then DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY! The winning bidder must send payment within seven (7) business days upon the completion of the auction. Negative feedback is subject to removal without Ultimate Fan Experience consent via email. 

As of late Monday night, the bid stood at a cool $500. 

I wonder if the WWF knows that she's using the name "Sunny" again?

Meanwhile, here is the pitch for the Francine date:

This is IT!!! YOUR CHANCE TO HANG OUT WITH QUEEN OF EXTREME, FRANCINE!!! The winner of this auction will spend 2-3 hours with Francine at Dave and Busters in Philadelphia. You read that correctly. This is your chance to hang out with Francine at one of Philadelphia's hottest night spots. YOU MUST BE 21 YEARS OR OLDER TO BID ON THIS AUCTION!!! Payment must be made by money order!!! The winner and Francine will decide on the date for this once in a lifetime chance. Autographed pictures, and other surprises are included!!! THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS, YOU CAN BRING A FRIEND!!! Don't waste your time, BID NOW!!!

With only two days left, Francine is up to a gosh darn impressive $5, 650. smackers 

So, to bid for "Sunny", go Here.

To bid for Francine, go Here.

Me? I'd go with Francine, because there's a better chance that she'd let you lick her armpit. Plus, Tammy has a child.... and a hot tempered husband.... and a taste for the crack cocaine. Three things that do NOT add up to guaranteed tongue action.

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW? I WAS FIRED!

The wrestler who started this "Time for $$" stuff, the Road Dogg called in on a radio show. A few sites recapped it, but I pulled it from The Torch

-Off the bat, RD explains that he went to Vince McMahon after working a match with K-Kwick against Lo Down "all messed up". He told Vince that he wanted to quite the business and get his life in some order. Vince told him to wait until the next night to talk to him. Later, he found Tom Pritchard in the Hotel and told him the same thing. Pritchard said that they will work everything out at the next night's Smackdown tapings.

-the next night, Jim Ross and Pritchard grabbed RD and told him to go home and settle things with his Wife and get his priorities straight. Ross said that he is "suspended indefinitely" but would be brought back when he's all better. Doggy said that he was jacked to be part of a great company that will allow him to come back to work after everything's straightened out.

-three days later, RD got his termination from the WWF in the mail. Now he's just hoping that he may get a call from WCW. (umm... Jesse?)

Now for the good stuff, what he thinks of other WRESTLERS!!!!!

On Billy Gunn: great athlete, but Road Dogg carried his ass

On X-Pac: One of his best friends and one of the best workers in the business.

On Mick Foley: Great father, great parent. Deserves more money for what he has given to the business.

On Owen Hart: He sucks and RD is glad he's dead. Wishes he pushed him 

On HBK: Always gives 100%. One of the best workers.

On HHH: Intense. When RD was fired, HHH goofed on the "Armstrong Curse". RD said HHH apologized for that, later.

-On Jeff Jarrett: Great friend. Said that Jarrett "held Vince hostage" at the PPV where he put over Chyna for the IC belt. 

-On the Undertaker: The man simply does his job and never complains. He is the "Cool Hand Luke" of Sports Entertainment.

That's it. Not a bad thing to say about anyone. I made up that Owen thing, just to see if you were paying attention.

Eww... next time, I'll read these things before committing to recapping them.... boring.

COCK TALK

A few days ago, Terry "The Red Rooster" Taylor dropped a call on a radio show and had a lot to say. Many sites covered it, but I got my info from 1bob

-in 1999, Taylor left WCW to work for the WWF. He left WCW because he was burnt out from booking (umm, didn't Bischoff fire him too?). He only stayed in the WWF for 9 months because McMahon had started a "Loyalty Pledge" agreement that said no one who left the WWF could go to WCW. Taylor didn't want to sign it. Vince knew he didn't, so he encouraged him to go back to WCW and tend to his ailing Father. (Taylor's father was very sick at the time too)

-Taylor got into booking back in his UWF days by watching how Bill watts ran things. He says that he was always interested in the inner workings of the business and the process of getting people "over". In 1995 he became Ric Flair's "assistant's assistant" and he grew from there.

-In the Mid-South, they worked 9 times a week and logged in between 25'00 to 3000 miles a week. Very tiring, but Bill Watts rules. (Mick Foley would disagree)

-He says that the Von Erich's were shooters. Kevin Von Erich had a habit of running at you from one end of the ring and kicking you stiff anywhere on your body.

-Says that Jim Ross never met with him during those three infamous days he spent in Atlanta talking to former WCW talent. Taylor loves Vince McMahon because Vince called him when his dad finally kicked, whereas Brad Siegal never bothered.

-Says that in the WWF, Jim Ross is head of talent relations, but Austin and the Undertaker really run the locker room. So, if something happens, you have to answer "to the boys". Taylor thinks this is the way it should be.

-While being nice about it, and diplomatic as hell, Taylor basically called Bischoff an imbecile.

-Said that Steiner was very passionate about his career and sometimes thought Taylor was trying to sabotage it. He also said that he has had arguments with Kevin Nash. Claims that Nash once admitted that the year he booked WCW was "the worst year of his life".

-Got right in line with everyone else and called Ric Flair the best wrestler ever. He also added that Flair "outbumped, outdrank, and outpartied" everyone too.

-Called Eddie Gilbert a genius with a tormented soul.

-Said he pestered Pat Patterson once a week for nine months about joining the WWF. When he finally got there, he was so jacked up that he didn't even care about the "red Rooster" gimmick. Says that he had that gimmick for 16 months out of a twenty year career. He's not bitter, because it gave him notoriety. Even in his fifties, Taylor would never bet against Orndorff in a jam.

-He says he actually wanted to bring the Rooster back for the Gimmick Battle Royal, but he had a hernia that prevented it.

-He says that he saw the Orndorff/Vader fight. Even while wearing flip flops and with some nerve damage to his arm, Orndorff still hit Vader so hard in the head that Taylor thought for sure that Vader's head would explode. 

-Taylor wrapped up by saying that his school is set to open on June 22, with the first class scheduled for the 25. For info call (770) 982-9589. Triple H and the Big Show will be there for the opening ceremony.

If you want to read the full recap, go stick your head in the toilet and flush it. I gave you all the juice.

JACK(yl)ASS

Don "Cyrus or the Jackyl" Callis had a column posted on SLAM! wrestling the other day. basically, he makes EXCELLENT sense about how it is impossible for Internet monkeys to rate workers, and that the best they can do is rate MATCHES. He defends Lance Storm's outrage and I think calls that Dean guy over at DVD a "homo". 

I say rate whoever you want, make any sort of list you want.... just don't start thinking you actually know anything.

To read the entire column, well, it's right there.

BUT, PLUGS

PK's Raw recap is here.

Ron Gamble addresses many, many wonderful things in his Explain THAT column.

I will have a HUGE And Another Thing posted sometime tomorrow. We're going old school this week, kids.

I will NOT have any Mop-Ups going this week. I'm burnt.... and my house stinks. I really need to do an all day spring cleaning marathon. I'll do all the news and all that, but that's it.

And of course.... the cherry of this sundae...

TAKE US HOME, HONKY!!

From Honky Tonk Man:

A very popular WWF Referee backed the Macho Man down from a fist fight. This is part of wrestling history behind the scenes. Savage became irate(not unusual for Nacho Man) when this ref, who was assigned to drive Savage and Lovely "Lick'em" Liz around was not available at 1 in the morning for one of Savage's munchie attacks. Savage stormed at the ref, screaming and yelling, pounding the ring truck in anger. The Ref stepped back said, "you say another word and I'm going to beat the hell out of you." The famous Ref---Earl Hebner!!!

ahhhh... I love it.

Hasta luego, you low riding PUNKS!

This is Hyatte